The words of Blue River...
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2002-03-25 19:33:15 (UTC)

7 Months

I love Joe so much. On March 22nd we were going out for 7
months. My longest relationship. He is also the person
that I have 'gotten farthest' with. I know he really loves
me. But I hate it when he says something, and doesn't take
action on it. Or when he says he 'might' be able to do
something, then I sit at home all night waiting for him
to 'maybe' come over, and he never does. Which pretty much
means, another day of the week down the drain. But.. I do
love him. I love him more than I have ever loved anyone
before. I love him to the moon and back, and he knows
that, and I know that he loves me just as much.
But then there's the things he says he'll do, and then he
doesn't. Like two weeks ago, he had 40 dollars, and he was
like "Jeez, I have 40 dollars, I'm going to have to get you
something because we've been going out for almost 7
months." But then... he doesn't get me anything. And
then, Thursday night I think it was, he said "I'm sorry I
didn't get you anything, but I haven't been anywhere all
week." It was true, he hadn't been anywhere all week,
because he had been sick all week, and I was the one who
got him sick. (And I felt horrible about it too.) When he
said that I said quietly "I didn't think you were gonna
anyway." I'm not sure if he heard it or not... but he
probably did, because after that he went silent. God, I
love that kid so much. I REALLY REALLY DO. But, I
dunno... when he says he'll do something, and then he
doesn't... it just makes me really depressed. But there
are so many things he does for me... all the little
things. They all add up. :)
Mmm... I wish you could read this and maybe get some sort
of hint or something, Joe... but deep down it wouldn't
matter if you did read it. Because I know you really do
love me... and I love you just as much.


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