Rev. Twitch

Rev. Twitch
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2002-03-25 19:31:45 (UTC)

The life and times of an aging punkster.

I can't remember a time when I felt more free and open
to the world than in those days of summer and spring
breaks. Having to work all year round kind of makes
you less attuned to the world. You look at the week like
one long stretch of eight and a half hour blocks. Your
spare time makes less and less difference and you get
stuck in front of the TV or Computer where you forget
there's a world out there that's begging to be
experienced. If you've ever had a weekend where you
drag yourself out of bed and plant yourself on the couch
where you waste the whole day and you go to bed
again because you have to go to work tomorrow and
then you realize, I haven't left the house or spoken to a
single person all day. That's when you end up in a bar
on Sunday night and you think to yourself "why the hell
did I come here of all places". And that hangover the
next morning might not have been as bad if you hadn't
felt so fucking depressed that you had about four drinks
too many. I find my urge to drink myself blind happens
more often on weeknights or should we just say
worknights. Depression feeds alcoholism and vice
versa.

Joe was always urging me to do those things I had no
business doing at inappropriate times. I think he had
the key to life but was too depressed to realize it. "Make
your normal life as much like a vacation as you can".
That's nice in theory, kind of like Socialism but breaks
everything down in practice. If you avoid responsibility
all your life you end up a burnt out freak with nothing to
show for your life but a fine collection of VDs and a
head full of crap 'cause that's all you've ever empathized
with. It's the punk rock holy grail, an obsession with
shit and dirt and crap. Nothing can be new except a
pair of Docs or a leather jacket but that's all just
fashion. The anti fashion of buying old Polyester outfits
and run-down clothing in ghetto Good Will shops. The
derelict vogue of the 80's that somehow got
transformed into Day-Glo colors and pre-ripped jeans.
All thanks to Punk Rock.

Now the attitude is still the same, don't listen to what
people say you "should" do. Listen to your heart when it
tells you do or not do whatever you're torn over. If you
think to yourself "you know, I'll loose my soul if I work
here or stay in this situation" then get the fuck out! Don't
do it because you think you have to or you owe it to
someone or something, if it's not right it's not right.
How can you possibly deny this flawless logic. Yes,
you have to put up with shit on occasion but you owe it
to yourself to be as plausibly sensible as you can in
these situations. You can't give up because life is hard.
Everyone knows life is hard. So you look for the path of
least resistance, OR you look for the path of clearest
enlightenment. Hopefully these will be similar if not
identical.

7-Seconds had it right when they said "I'm gonna stay
young untill I die". Wonder if any of them is dead yet.
That's the way Joe wanted to go. Before he was 25.
Guess he made it huh?


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