sweetaddiction

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2002-03-25 19:13:52 (UTC)

its not fate its just circumstance

"once i swore i would die for you...
but i never meant like this."


i just got home from....
spring break.
emilys.
school.
dennys.
everywhere pretty much.
i just got home to...
my girlfriend bitching at me because i didnt pick up my
phone.
when i told her it was dead..
and to my mom.
informing me that my dad went through my shit on here and
came across the picture i scanned for emily.
of her smoking and me with not one...but TWO beers in my
hand.
so yeah.
he blew it up and made it the wallpaper for this computer.
lovely. let me tell you.
i fucking hate him.
i never lied to him. i never said i quit drinking.
and i dont smoke weed.
he can fucking test me. im clean.
cocaine.
what a great drug, eh?

~~~~

yes. well. come on world.
add more to my list please.
because im so numb at this point i dont even cry or wince
when i hurt myself.
im not in a good mood.
i havent eaten.
and i know ill just puke if i do.
i havent slept.
about 2-3 hours of sleep last night.
i couldnt sleep.
i dont know why.
i made oatmeal.
and that didnt even help.
nope.
i want to hit something im so pissed at my father.
i want to cry because im such a good fucking girl
and you know
it really doesnt matter anyway
it doesnt matter to anyone apparently besides myself
and thats fading more quickly each and every day.


.f.u.c.k .i.t.


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