Academy Awards and What I Like
So Russell Crowe got snuffed for Denzel Washington. Ok,
training day kick my ass and tongued my balls. it was a
great fuckign movie. but come on. russell crowe played
john nash........gee i wonder why the fuck denzel
won....hhhhmmmmmm, could it have anythign to do with
sidney poitier before hand? shit even denzel said when he
got the award "two birds with one stone" nice. ah fuck
it. denzel was great in the movie. it was a great
movie. i just think crowe was a notch above and shoulda
gotten the award. and what the fuck is up with halle
berry? you take the golden man. you say "i thank they
academy, and whoever's dick i sucked to get here i'm gonna
pretend that you were my mentor", and scoooooooooooot
you're off the fucking stage. you DO NOT cry like a little
baby for half a fucking hour and then take an hour to
thank people in a garbled choked manner.
and since when do geeks win awards? stupid lord of the
rings. sure the movie rocked, but the day a fat, glasses
ridden, scraggled, fuck of a human being waddles around on
stage like a god-damned penguin, is the day that i lose
faith in humanity. i think it would be funny if they gave
him an exploding golden guy. haha. i can just see it.
tom hanks is like "no, no, hold it closer to your
face......there you go". or!
we make an obstacle out of getting the oscar. snipers
everywhere. land mines. velociraptors. and for the best
picture, we have the most daring of all the obstacles. we
starve oprah and ricki lake and then smear the winner in
bbq sauce. let them loose......oh hell yeah.
whoopi goldberg. yeah. cos we need her around.
Let me run down a list of my likes :
My Dog Toby
Not Whoopi Goldberg
Shit........all we need to do is break Whoopi's legs, nail
her upside the head with a hammer, and give her a short
haircut.....then we have every minority conceivable in one
person. Shit, if we give her a burritto and teach her
french I'm going to have to put aside an hour a day to
make fun of her. If she gains 50 lbs, i'm going to
dedicate my life to making fun of her.
--- i will publish in the collegiate times something
funny. if only i had the motivation. that newspaper needs
the input of someone so insanely retarded that everyone
else will shut the fuck up about their problems.