Nick's Journal
2002-03-25 06:18:45 (UTC)

Walmart (for the optimist) ...... yeah so it's short.

Walking through the aisles, i notice that the only thing
that rises above the horrible stench of failure is the
great smell of shake and bake chicken. i eat as many
samples as possible before the old lady (who's quite fast)
kicks my ass out of there.
the only optimistic thing i can find at that god forsaken
shit hole is this guy who is pushing a cart behind a
somewhat pretty lady. she differs from the other females
there due to the fact that one could look at her and get
an erection instead of wanting to puke on yourself. he
obviously realizes the stares from the other envious
guys. you know the guys that stare. they're the ones
that are pushing the carts behind an ass the size of
montana, or behind some fucked up, strung out, crack whore
of a soccer mom who can't seem to shut her god damned
trap. they look at their "love of their life" and then
look at his, and's sad. and he knows. he
knows. he knows that he's lucky and they want what he
has. fthey want his beautiful daughter, they want his
life no matter what kind of debts in entails. he tries
not to noice their learing. he tries to engage himself
with his wife and tickles his daughters chin. he passes
the father who chases after his son. the son is frantic
since he didn't get his 12 doses of ritalin and the father
just wants to get him back to his mother so that he can
have soem peace and quiet. the two race by and the son
claws at whatever is in his grasp. too bad that what he
grasps is a box full of soaps and it all comes crashign
down on his bulbous head.
the father is simply relieved because the soap was so
heavy it knocked the little fuck out instead of having him
scream. then he looks up and sees our optimistic father
and just feels shame. the lucky father looks at his
daughter and feels nothing but pride as he looks into her
intelligent eyes. going to this shit hole of a store makes
him appreciate what he has so much. his wife, who under
any other circumstance woudl be mediocre now becomes the
queen of all women and he proudly saunters after her. i
just eye him as i glance over my MAD magazine and try to
drone out the Mullet Man's conversation.
i guess the one other optimistic thign about walmart is my
mother. now when you go shopping with my dad it's always
a blood bath. he'll ask one of the local monkeys where he
can find a spatula, they'll say somethign retarded and the
next thing i know securities bringing my dad down with 5
shot of morphine as he strangles the dumbshit. now with
my mom it's quite different. she's so carefree when she's quite amazing. she'll race to the store
like a fucking maniac. cut throats to get a cart, and
then once inside act like she's taken 5 valiums. she
saunters through the aisles, artistically weaving through
obstacles. she doesn't pay attention to anybody else and
constantly nails unsuspecting passerbys in the heels with
her cart. she never buys more than 10 items so she
doesn't have the stress of long check-out lines. yep
that's bout it.