psychomagnet

pour your misery down on me..

I guess I decided to make writing in here a regular thing
again. I am sunburnt!! Ow. it hurts. my tongue doesnt
hurt anymore though. its still a pain in the ass to eat
but not eating cant be a bad thing for me. Im much more
concerned with this sunburn thing right now. I fell asleep
outside today. All week I've been laying out and not
burning and today I fell asleep like a moron. Ow. I dyed
my hair pink though. where it was kinda purple. i think i
like it better, cant really tell yet.

i wana go to work tomorrow to see that guy. lol im such a loser. he
doesnt even know who i am. anyway. yeah school tomorrow. we're
taking our valencia applications. i want to move out very
soon. even though moms being great. i need me-time. i
have no privacy no time to myself.

my familys guna be here in one week. i have to take shane out, that
will be interesting. i remember ashleys cousin, i think it was
her cousin, coming. he was kinda crazy and we went to the
dennys on 50. god that was so long ago. i dont know if i
did the right thing. or if there was a right thing to do.
or why it would be the right thing or the wrong thing or
anything at all. i dont know anything about it.

i hurt richards feelings tonight, i was busy and stressed and he
was annoying me so i was like i have to go do stuf bye
really fast and i think he was sad. the worst thing to me,
is when people ask me whats wrong if i dont want them to.
i usually dont but sometimes i do, but if i dont it pisses
me off a lot. anyway. im guna go to bed i think.

i miss spending time with caroline... i wish she hadnt become one of
them. its a weakness on my part that i try not to have. if matt is
my only weakness, everything is normal but any more
weaknesses make me nervous. anyway. bedtime.

*I will never be happy with what I have*

I'm only happy when it rains... I'm only happy when its
complicated.. I only listen to the sad sad songs... I only
smile in the dark, my only comfort is the night gone
black... Im riding high up on a deep depression.