Thoughts in the Confused
2001-05-17 06:56:39 (UTC)


ok, now. It has been a while since i wrote in here. I
apoligize. I have been busy and weird. lol

Anyway. I do not know. I have been feeling weird lately.
Inside. Not Physically, but something feels out of order in
my brain. It might be that I am not working. I am not
sure. I do wish I had a steady income and I think that this
current job, if you can call it that, has reached the end of
the ride for me. I think I am getting sick of it. I need
to have a steady income and try to find soemthing that will
be good for me. So everyone keep that in your thoughts.

I had to get that off my mind. Let me recap. Well, I left
you off at the Lake so let me pick up. I bought a sword.
Of I know that is weird. But I like swords and daggers.
Especially like movie, or fantasy ones. I would like to
have a good colletion on a wall some day.

Took my parents to the Bose store and tried to sell them on
it. It is some great shit. And I think my dad was really
impressed. Which is cool. Not that we really need it, but
it something I have wanted to get for sometime. Maybe I
will be able to save up and get a system someday.

I believe that i was telling you i had to work on the xbox
website that me and some guys are launching. It is working
out. I think we cut it to the line pretty bad, but I guess
we like preasure. I am finishing up what i had to do on the
site the last couple days. Part of the reason for no post
here. I am getting more and more ready for the Xbox though.
I just can not believe it is goign to be launched on Nov 8.

So what else. Let me think. I am horny. I continue my
daily debate of if I am gay, straight, or bi or whatever.
One day I will be able to say that is does not matter but
that day is not here yet. I think i argued this stuff
before and I am sorry if this gets on some of your nerves.
I am not sure if it matters or I just want to know. Not
that I have an easy method to determine it. It is not like
I would just hook up with a guy or something and try out a
relationship or much else. I would be to chicken shit to
start it and I would be to scared to be found out.

Sometimes I think I just strive to be different. But
othertimes I just want to be normal. But that also
encompases the fact that I am fat and have a small penis.
The funny part is that is so easy to write here. Though I
would never dream to talk about this stuff openly with
another person.

Ugh, I have lost track. I will get back to you. Talk to
you all soon.

Thanks Jonny for the e-mail

jdiary2001 (at) gmail (dot) com

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