Crazy What You Could've Had
Wearing The Face That I Keep In A Jar By The Door.
Man, I feel terrible today. Absolutely deflated. Really.
I woke up and watched Scooby Doo with a larger amount of
phlegm than I would care for within my nasal passages. This
escalated into a fit of vomiting around 10 a.m., and a
constant being of bunged-up, and sinus pain. So. I've a
slightly worse cold than I could have expected. This is
never nice, but you have to soldier on.
I have had my holiday in Huddersfield brutally slashed from
3 weeks to 2, which means that tomorrow heralds a beginning
not of a week to enjoy, but one to say my goodbyes.
Typical, and I can put it all down to ScienceDirect and my
language pathology (and my eagerness to get my work done).
It makes me shed a tear, it really does. I could crush a
grape, I honestly could. Not even the good humour of the
barman at the High Park lifted my spirits, and he's a good
Worst of all was this. One of my...I don't even know if I
can say friends anymore, I've no idea...well, I've not
heard from for a week or so, and having been in regular
daily contact I miss them. So I mentioned on a website we
frequent. My missing them, that is. The response was as
"... missing? -- I know where he dumped the body..."
Now, I know my last e-mail to them was not the nicest thing
in the world, but I felt hurt by this. Maybe I'm misreading
it, I do have a bit of a murder-related fascination as you
know, but my gut reaction is to feel bad about it, and I
do. Very bad. I wish I could apologise, I wish I could get
my words together, I wish I knew what I wanted to say,
whether that was right, but I don't. I think back to some
advice I doled out yesterday, which was (surprisingly, if
people read up here) well-received. I could do with a
similar thing now.
I don't know. I just know when I wake up, I won't feel any
better about it. I've been feeling quite bad all week, and
this is a nail into my coffin. I'm just sitting here,
silently shaking my head. Not smiling, not really thinking,
just trying to.
I really am.
WILT? Indiana Jones Theme