It's ok to be crazy
2002-03-24 06:35:27 (UTC)

it's just poopy

i am in a slump. i think it may just be the time of year.
in just a couple of weeks it will be 2 years. 2 years since
mike killed him self. it's weird how fast time goes by. i
don't know... it seems just like a couple of months ago
that all this crap went down. especially this time of year.
everything just starts to replay it's self in my
mind.little things trigger me. thing s like movies that we
had seen together. songs that we liked anything it all just
sends me in to a spiral and takes me right back to the same
place i was right after he left.
it scares me. i have been having thoughts latly. thoughts
worse than burns and cuts. thought like ....why do i even
bother anymore. how would it feel to die? how would it feel
to die at my own hand. i have to stop thinking like that.
it just isn't healthy.

i have been on a short wire the past couple weeks. the
littlest things set me off. i don't know why. i just feel
this pressure go through my body and i just want to hurt
someone something i don't uynderstand anything anymore. i
need a vacation