Peaches

Ode to a psycho!HA!
2002-03-24 05:12:54 (UTC)

Oh For Gods Sake!!

Alright, alright. the jig is up. I've been thinking about
him, alot. and it's not just rj either it's stephen, and
nick, and brian.......god I miss talking to brian. And ya
know I didn't think I would.....miss it. And ya know it
really hurts.......Why do people just cut you off with no
reason or explaination. Why do people blatently ignor you as
if you didn't exist, almost to the the point that you really
don't.......And why do people take joy out of other peoples
sheer misery. And why Do I just have all around bad luck with
guys so that they treat me his way, and why do I get hurt
EVERY SINGLE TIME and why do I FALL IN LOVE SO EASILY?? I
loved rj. something about having someone exactly the same,
someone who could know what you were going to say before you
even opened your mouth. I loved that. and I loved stephen, as
much as I HATE to admit that, I did, and do and something
about him just won't break away from my soul. Hell I even
love Brian, I love the way I can have an intellegent agrument
with him, I love the way he gets angry when I win, or when I
tell him to dress appropriately to go into a church. I love
the way he makes me laugh. or to just be happy. And that
makes me so scared, because guys fuck me over so much, and
now, with jason, HELL, you know? I REALLY like him, and I
know I'm never going to get the opportunity to have a
relationship with him................I wrote to Jeremy today,
yeah, long time I know.......it was odd. I needed the names
of some agents on the west coast. And a waiter hit on me
tonight at work. I wasn't working, I was just there to enjoy
myself, and I guess he didn't recognize me. I was at dinner
with Nathan. GOD he's hot!! I swear to god I'm going to end
up marrying someone like him, 7 years older than me. These
guys the same age just aren't cutting it for me.
later




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