fizzi

fizzi-land!
2002-03-23 16:21:44 (UTC)

TOD entry from 11/14/01

one of my "meaningful" entries 11/14/2001
Hiya!

i kno i shouldn't complain, cos compared 2 some ppl, my
life is an absolute picnic. but 2 me, its not.


i'm lucky, i have family, friends, ppl who care about me.
but thats wot makes it worse. i'm scared of letting them
down. i'm scared of competition, cos there's always
competetion. 2 b in the "popular groups". 2 get the best
marks. but wot do u do when u kno that it'll never work.
u'll never win. it won't b u that comes out on top. do u
give up? no, u work 10 times as hard. & then, when u still
don't "win", u try 10 times as hard again. & u get caught
in a vicious circle. cos theres nothin else u can do. u
can't admit that u mite just not b able 2 do it.


so i work. & i work. & then i work some more. & when ur
workin so much that u have no time 2 do nethin fun, u
realise that wot ur doing isn't rite. it isn't a good idea
2 work & work & work. but u keep up the hard work, cos u
can't c ne other way 2 live ur life.


u'd think we could just b grateful for wot we have. but no
matter how much we have, we always want more.


Luv *n* hugz,

Fizzi xx




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