Realizations of a 24yr old convict
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2002-03-23 10:24:19 (UTC)

beauty before substance HA!!

ok I think the next few entries will be from letters they
should be public and I havent written much as of late so
here we go from a letter to the lovlest girl in the world

Baby girl,hope this finds you in good spirts and a pleasant
state of mind. I'm home early it's only midnight or one or
somthing things are good. I miss my homboys I guess i
always do. I went out with theses girls that I see everyday
and their conversation was weak I stayed an extra hour or
so just cause i know the homboys would have givin anything
to be in my shoes tonight instead of eating rad ass soups.
I saw people looking at me like i was just doing to much
with my ambercrombie and these girls. One inpeticular
sitting with this girl with the most beautiful hair.while
at the bar i struck up a conversation with her she was
truly lovley said she did yoga and listened to the 10,000
So as these girls played on in this competition for my
effection or what ever the fuck they go through I gazed
past them and watched in wonder as this man also stared
through his companion missing the words she spoke and the
way she brushed her hair back and at that point i couldn,t
help but to laugh laugh so hard not even knowing why, at
the ironicness of life,the stupidity of people in
genral,the fact that beauty comes before substance,a
million thoughts raced through my mind,then their it was he
would trade her just for the chance a chance to sit among
the divas.
there was only one thing to do test it.
So i walk to the bar asked to buy them a round and come
sit with us
I cant explain it how quick he jumped with out a glance at
her and as we sat his girlfriend who she turned out to be,
became nothing to him as he drooled all over heather who
was polite enuff not to turn he nose at him
so the girlfriend went for a drink i had to follow. the
conversation was good she triped cuz Im all striaght edge
hanging at the bar and she paints and I'd seen her painting
down town at this coffie shop.
then she said "he's such a jackass just look at him" i
could see her looking over at him gettig madder and madder
then she said "it" [godammit she had to say it] after a few
more darogitory statements "but i love him"
Wow everything changed man im fucked up yeah dude hadit
his girl seening what he was about,him choosing the divas
over her,
mabe she saves him and actully gets him to leave with her a
huge fight will insue in the parking lot at home where ever
its gonna happen.
him sleeping alone regaurdless no girly with the pretty
hair no diva just the realization that hes a loser.
but oh she didn't have it comming this lovly creature
who's tears are gonna break my heart and i just pulled the
trigger and where she could have slept wrapped up in her
loves arms with just the lingering thought of how he had
looked at those other women but not now it'd gone to far as
i saw him get another drink 4 heather things had gone to
far and id done much damage.
And when the time came and she left me at the bar and
her boy at the table w/o even a good bye I wanted to chase
her and let her know its gonna be ok not everyones like
that dick she calls a boyfriend
I would never do her so wrong but i couldnt i was caught in
the grey
iwas just as much as a dick if not more i set this pain in
pre meditated even he was just a sucker.
Wow lifes so good,that shit hurt to know that in some
remote way i hurt that girl i could justify it a million
ways but i shant. to say remote is probly wrong of me. Fuck
it I love life this place is so great i cant even explain i
have the hugest grinn and im looking at all these coffie
cups that are scattered about that leah writes mr. smiles on
and i just cant help but to feel that its all good.
love chris
ps i was gonna write some way different shit when i started