angryanymore

proclamation deficiency...

tonight i cried. ... over a movie... and afterwords... i
sat on my bed and stared at the various drawings and
memoirs in my room...

tonight i read star's journal again... she's being sent
somewhere but she "loves her baby and will write him every
chance she gets" ... *sighs* ... he hasn't even thought
about telling her... "hey.. look.. there's someone
else." ... but for some reason... i'm not concerned or
hurt... just annoyed. ... when i dwell on it... i have
that... -why in the heck did you just wake me up-
feeling... because deep down.. i think i understand... and
i hope issac doesn't think that someone who digs for the
truth and peels back the hardest of layers... can't
understand... because i can... and i'm thinking... maybe i
do... ... and if i don't now... ... her "leaving" aka...
getting thrown in jail for some various reason... isn't
going to stall the understanding/regestering process... ...
past experience and notable training has taught me
well. ... bullshit is bullshit... and fish is fish... no
matter how much perfume you spray on it. ... my question is
why...if he respects me so f'in much... can't he come out
and explain what's going on... because i feel as though
i've gotten alot of ... how do you say...? "shadyness"? ...
is that it? ... ... don't get me wrong... i adore issac...
but excuse my americano... ... what the fuck is going on...
really? ... bluntness would definitely cure my irritation.
and... i am irritated.

sleep deprevation... ... that's what's going on... ... and
stressed out... is what i am... term paper this... term
paper that... wtf? ... i hear that xanex is what i
need... ... ... but.. no drugs...right? ... only i can cure
this condition... or so all of the really smart ones
say... ... "prior
planning..." ... "organize..." ... "you're too
jumbled..." ... oy yoy yoy...

i'm going to sleep... i think i am fully capable of
that... ... ... recognition of deprevation is the key. ...

-a really cranky version of ...

yours truly... ... neeley/jane.