The Xdruggie Files
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2002-03-23 04:57:42 (UTC)


I don't do well when i am bored. And i am bored. I have
alot to be thankful about i know...and i guess i should
focus on that...but i am soooo bored out of my mind right
now. One roommate is asleep, one roommate is at work, tony
(we are officially dating) is with his mom, and i am here
awake by myself. The neighbors are throwing a party 'cause
it's one or the other's birthday. They offered me a drink.
I really wanted to take it. Of course i would be using if I
took that drink. So i didn't..but i have watched like three
movies today and like i said i am soooooo bored. Talked to
Tanea today about the trip to Iowa. Glad I didn't go to
help her move, cause i know i would have relapsed by this
point. We had a good talk. She still wants me to come
visit. She said she is gonna stop using 'cause hers is
getting outta hand as well.

I had a sobering thought today while talking with her. One
of the guys i was with the night of my OD died of AIDS
complications two months ago. Right before i od'ed we were
about to have unprotected sex. Did my overdose keep me from
becoming HIV ? And they talk of god working in mysterious
ways...i believe it.


i don't feel like using anymore.