Brokenwings

Disconnected from reality
2002-03-22 09:31:03 (UTC)

breathing... sorta

yeaaaaa.....

Wow theres an old X-files on that I've never seen!
Didn't think any existed!

I had planned to go straight to bed, but then I wanted to
check email on an old screen name, and then I got sucked
into xfiles, and dicided to write in my diary since I
hadn't in a couple days.

So yeah, drama is the same. Except we're probably not
geting married, its still kinda being discussed, but not
really. As much as we love each other, we know we're just
not ready... plus it's not for the right reasons.

Still havn't taken a test, so thats still in question.
But I'm about 90% sure my kitty is pregnant. She has a
rounded little tummy starting to grow, and her littlle
kitty nipples are growing big and poking out.

Don't really know why I had an urge to write... sometimes
I feel very lost and overwhelmed, and just rambling in here
about nothing helps the thoughts stop racing around in my
head long enough for me to get to sleep.

Breathing in and out
slowly... just enough life
to keep this fractured heart
beating its painful beats.
that voice, your words
ricocheting constantly
in the confines of my head.
Never silent, never kind.

Why can't I just give up?

Why can't I just give in?

It would be so easy,
fall back into nothingness
be embraced by the pain
comforted only
by the cool touch
of loneliness
feeling nothing

tired of feeling so much...

just plain tired.

exhaustion is numbing




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