Asmodeus

No time for love Dr. Jones
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2002-03-21 10:50:22 (UTC)

come and i'll take you under, this beautiful bruise's colours

i just finished watching an episode of buffy (fuggin love
that show) where all her mates brought her back to life
after she died. when she came back to life she was kinda
quiet and freaked out (as you are after being brought back
from a hell dimension). so the whole episode she spends
sulking and having a real quiet tanty, when she drops the
bombshell on spike (the token well natured nice guy
vampire) that all the time she was gone, she was actually
in heaven. the most perfect place she's been. she was warm
and complete and at peace. then she was dragged back into
the 'real' world, and everything is bright, and hard, and
violent. kinda reminded me of my whole moving experience.
granted darwin wasn't the perfect place, but i was
comfortable. and now, everything seems more real, and
colder, and a whole bunch less fun. it makes me feel this
wierd feeling i don't have a word for, but i'll call
smaphurkel.

smaphurkel is a mix between anger, depression, resignation
and a certain sadness that you can feel right down to your
bones. kind of like hopelessness. only more so. it's
smaphurkel. and it sucks.


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