Dawn SaGe 83

May 15, 2001:

Diary:

This morning when I took the bus to school I saw
Osman. We were flirting as usual but the funny thing is I
don't know if I really like him at all. All he does is make
me laugh and I make him laugh it is pretty cool though. I
don't see anything wrong with that. Everytime I see him I
think of Ray. Ray was the only guy I ever really liked
maybe loved too. My problems is that I am scared to fall in
love and that one day when I am happy the guy I love will
walk away or die like Dad did to mom. The only way that
will never happen if I deny my chance at a great life. My
greatest love was when I was with Ray it was the most
beautiful thing that a girl and a guy could ever share in
life. I remember when our eyes met, I remember the first
smile and the first laughter and I remember when we first
kissed and I remember when we first held hands and last
kissed. This is a special thing that is to be saved in a
box for my Grandkids someday when they ask me about love
and I could tell them what it was for me.
Sometimes I could swear that I could feel Ray's
presence and I wish that he would come back. I know I broke
his heart once too many times I am lost, I need a sigh from
God or Dad in heaven to show me the way in life what is my
destiny and who is it with? I don't know what am except I
am a tennis player who has the heart of the game and the
passion to win it all without giving anyone a second chance
in the game. What I need is a fourth chance at love maye
the fourth time is the charm for me and Ray.
Sometimes I think I have seen the beauty and the
greatness of life, there is so much love in the world and I
want to change that for many kids. I am going to give
children the voice to speak up no matter what it is to get
what they want in life. In all over the world children and
people have been afraid to speak their mind because they
are afraid that things in life will get worse. I am either
going to be a Special Ed. Elementary School Teacher or a
Journalist working on Education area. I will help and fight
every one small thing that goes wrong and no one will do a
thing about I will make sure that justice is served for
everyone including Special Education Students.