tomorrows revolution today
email to adam
I guess you just scared me today on the phone. I didnt
really know what to think after we got off. Im real sorry
i couldnt call you back me and amanda left to go to her
house, stop by brook's and then went to rent a movie.
Anyway... adam i dont know what to say. The thought that i
might actually lose you went through my mind today and i
didnt like that at all. I love you so much i cant explain
it. I know how much not getting to see me that often
bothers you but i dont know what to tell you. Baseball is
here and i promised you at the beginning that i wouldnt
give up and im gonna stick to that cuz you mean too much to
me to let a sport come between us. Doing 2 things at once
is part of life. You always say that you only have 2 years
left to play baseball and that girls will be around forever
but i hope that to you im not "just a girl" and i hope you
know that *I* wont be around forever either. I dont in any
way want to get in the way of baseball for you cuz i know
how much it means to you and you having something else that
makes you so happy makes me incedibly happy too.
(I dont want to do this but i have to... Im willing, are
you? cuz if your not then here's your chance you get out
of it... no hard feelings. Im opening the door for you to
get what you want during basball season - no girlfriend. I
know i can handle baseball season cuz i really love you.
All im asking is for you to do 2 things at once. There are
ways to do 2 things at once but keep them seperate at the
same time but if you cant do that then here's your chance.)
Didnt actually say the above () but would have liked to.
If you think this relationship is to hard or complicated or
difficult to handle then tell me what i can do to make it
easier on you. I'll do anything within my power to make it
better. Talk to me. It always helps. I wish you would
explain to me exactly what you ment on the phone today...
tell me exactly what i am suposed to be thinking cuz i was
awful scared after we got off. Hell its like 2:30 and i'd
been lying in bed for a long time before i finally got up
to wirte you. Ever since monday you havent been off my
mind. I didnt realize how much i missed you until i saw
you again. Even that night, after you left, i couldnt stop
thinking about how i wished we had more time together.
Adam you've been a fabulose boy friend too, i could never
ask for better... i guess just sometimes i wonder if there
were ways i could be a better girl friend. you know what i
mean? Geez! what am i thinking... of course you dont know
what i mean. ha. Im just being a stupid girl. Stupid girls
have ways of not making much since sometimes. :p Well i
hope some of what i said made since to you cuz it would
suck if i spent 45min writing something that made NO since
at all. :p I hope you had a wonderful night and ill talk
to you later.
Love forever and always, Britt