The Xdruggie Files
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2002-03-20 03:56:03 (UTC)

This one time in treatment...I stuck a flute up my

Went to an S.L.A.A. meeting (sexual compulsives, etc.)We
had a first step meeting which basically means that we
talked about how our lives were out of control and that we
were powerless over the addiction. I needed to do that..to
hear how far down I had been. Sex for drugs...anonymous
sex...etc. I really needed to hear myself tell my
story...again. It was a really good meeting.

Finish treatment on Thursday. Chairing a meeting
tomorrow...my first chair on the "outside." god i can't
believe it has been 6 months.

Still diggin' Tony. He was sick today and went to the
doctor so he is asleep right now. We have a lot of really
FUCKED UP connections in the past. One of the guys i was
with when i od'ed was one of his x's. When i was in
treatment i wished them dead. Tony tells me now that his x
is. I don't know how i feel about that..but i do know that
i feel good about tony. I didn't sleep with him the first
time we met. I didn't break any of my boundaries. I know
his first and last name and we are dating with a potential
for a relationship...we'll see where it goes. I just know
that i like spending time with him; he is truly a sweet and
funny person. In the past it has been that i instantly lose
interest after sex but not this time....anyway progress not
perfection. god i hope i don't cycle back to being co-
dependant...that would suck.