Thoughts from Blue Angel
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2001-05-15 14:57:26 (UTC)


I won't even begin to give a narration of everything that
has happened in the past few days. It's just been one
gigantic roller coaster. One minute, I'm extremely happy.
The next, I'm wishing I could just disappear from the face
of the earth.

At the moment, neither is the case. I feel numb. The
good things don't excite me very much, and the bad things
aren't getting to me. It's like they cancel each other
out. It reminds me of a scene in the novel "Ordinary
People" where Dr. Berger explains to Conrad that in order
to feel the good, you must also feel the bad. If you block
out the negative emotions, you are also blocking out the
positive ones. I suppose that's what I'm doing now.