camicazy

Meshed Up
2002-03-18 23:49:16 (UTC)

under scrutiny

woke up to this cold and dark autumn day. i am under
scrutiny...scrutiny by nelson and his friends.

he is beginning to doubt me again. he feels threatened by
my guy friends although there is nothing to feel threatened
about. i am not close to my guy friends. sure i go out with
them, along with some other girls and guys. but that's
about it. it's just a 'going out' group of friends. it's
all very superficial. i am not the type of girl that guys
chase after. i am not pretty, nor sexy, and i don't have a
personality interesting enough to trigger the interest of a
guy. besides i have no intentions whatsoever of letting
guys chase after me. my heart belongs to nelson...and will
forever belong to him.

am i really such a horrible person? a horrible girlfriend
at that? am i really a wild tiger who has been released
from its cage?

i like tight clothes. i love rock songs and the feeling of
being in a concert. i talk to people -- guys and girls
alike. is my behavior very questionable? i feel like i am
somewhat of a good person in the sense that i don't fuck my
life up. i mean i don't do drugs, i have no piercings
whatsoever, and i don't sleep around. why then am i seen as
a 'wild' person? someone who's not girlfriend material?
someone who needs chains or else she will be destroyed?

sometimes i don't talk because i'm afraid to bore a person
to tears. most of the time i would rather listen than talk.
when i tell stories i usually do so in little
detail...don't know why. i just do. writing is a different
story though...i can write as much as i want because i know
the people who will read as much as this are only those who
are interested in what i have to say.

everything i do is questionable. everything i am is
questionable. i am under scrutiny.


Now that you know why you feel like you do
They're turning their head whilst they wait
For no one
And finally I know why you feel like letting go

I'm watching you watch
Over me and I've got
The greatest view from here
I'm watching you watch
Over me and I've got
The greatest view from here

Mistakes don't mean a thing
If you don't regret them
So pack your tactic toes for the winter
Chain a waterfall to burned and withered skin
No-one else will ever see

I'm watching you watch
Over me and I've got
The greatest view from here
I'm watching you watch
Over me and I've got
The greatest view from here

- 'the greatest view'
silverchair