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2002-03-18 23:27:44 (UTC)

"how many special people..

"how many special people change."

im frustrated.
im happy but im mad.
i feel like things are fucked up with so many of my friends.
and i know its all my own fault.
and i hate it.
i hate it because i cant just have peace with everything
and everyone.
somehow someone is going to be upset at me.
and im tired of making choices.
i just want to be happy and i want everyone else to be
happy too
but with someone being mad at me i cant be entirely happy.
i dont work that way.
and i dont know what to do about anything
so im not doing anything
nope not me
and thats worse i think
so again i suck
mad at me and mad at the world.
just angry in general.
"youre always angry ashley"
im really not though.
but when i am. which i guess is pretty often.
i have reasons to be.
there is no reason i shouldnt be mad about a thousand
different things that happen everyday in my life.
so dont tell me not to be mad
because id rather be pissed than be ignorant.

*...and im really not stupid.
just full of too much love.*

or just really fucked up in the head.
which ever way you choose to think about it.
doesnt really matter
does it

but i am in a really good mood. =)
i have been recently despite of shit.
maybe im just condtioned now or something.
but im happy.
and thats what its all about man