Product of a Broken Home
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2002-03-18 05:02:58 (UTC)


i went swimming. just got home infact.

do you ever just put your head underwater in a pool and
listen to the silence all around. you can' hear much of
anything, the occassional splash, bubbles if you're blowing
them, but thats about it.

i love that.

i sit like that underwater for as long as i can. which is
at minute or two. the only problem is, its doesn't last
long and when you put your head back up the noise assualts

or it does me anyway. re-emerging into that noise scares
me, sends me right back underwater. where everything is
blue-ish, or black if you close your eyes, and there is no

you don't get that out of water. even if you're sitting in
a room, in a basement, wrapped up in blankets, with no one
else home, there's still noise.

if you move, you hear it
you hear your breathing
if you're quiet enough, your pulse even
and all the background noises of the house itself
a clock ticking
the furnace going on and off occassionally
sometimes there are things from outside that make noise
a dog running by
a bird
a child
the wind
a tree rubbing against the house.

see, all that, its gone underwater. its always completely
silent underwater. and the deeper the better. i was at the
bottom of a six foot deep pool.

imagine if you could go to the bottom of the ocean. or even
the river. there'd be no noise. its almost tempting to jump
off a bridge and stay in the water forever. too bad its
winter and there's ice frozen over the water.


-chlorine will get anything out if you give it enough time-