Rhiannon

Golden Book of Wisdom
2002-03-17 21:06:06 (UTC)

Scapegoats of Society

My Mother is an ex drug addict, saved by the Blood of Jesus
Christ.

She called at 5:00 am this morning, with much on her mind.
Obviously drunk, she was sobbing about a life that has been
waisted away with 20 years of being stoned. She doesn't
have a driver's license, or a job... she has lived with her
husband of twelve years. There marriage is on the rocks.
She now wants to be a missionary for the poor, lost souls
in Isreal.

I imagine the only way to stay young in your mind forever
is to be a drug addict. Because it freezes you in time. You
don't learn from the pain, because drugs do not allow you
to feel. My mother is a fourteen year old girl trapped in a
middle aged woman's body. And all the while, I wish there
was something I could do for her. Something I could say, or
offer... to provide some sort of comfort to her. But she
doesn't take responsibility for her own actions. I don't
think she is capable of it. I don't think she knows how to
feel pain.

Sometimes, I think she will take her own life once her and
Gene separate. I think right now, she is trying to latch on
to something so she won't get to that point. Even if it is
only a dream.

My mother doesn't know how to be a member of society. I
guess some people pride themselves on being extracated, but
I have never known a person more isolated, sad, and angry.




Ad: