A Closed Mind is An Open Book
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2002-03-17 15:18:17 (UTC)

Tension Headache...

I'll be 18 in 5 days. *kicks a noisemaker across the room*
And its gonna be the most depressing birthday of my entire
life because I can't do anything right. I wish it was
possible for me to make everyone happy all the time because
then I wouldn't stress myself out over this. For a while I
thought I was living only one life. Happy away from home,
and happy at home... but now I feel like I'm living two.
Pretending I don't care that they've given up and I'm
trying not to, and actually capable of having some
happiness away from home if I try hard not to think about
what's going on around me. But in 5 days everything will be
better. I'll be living with Robbie and his mom, and those
people really do love me. What my family used to do when
they pretended to care (i.e. the ability to know theres
something wrong without me telling them) Robbie does. I
don't know why the hell I keep analysing everything. I know
he cares a hell of a lot more than anyone else. I should
just quit trying to list all the ways he does and leave it
at that. He's such a great guy. I don't know what I would
do with out him.