Pure Belligerence
2001-05-14 03:24:26 (UTC)

*Im broken*

Dear diary,
I have reached my breaking point. I dont know if i
have already broke or just about there but i feel it. I
think it was the bird that was just the straw which broke
the camels back.... This has never happened to me before
but with all the crap thats been going on this is it! Im
up at 11:18 when i know i have to get up early tomorrow
because my mom is driving me to school because i have to
bring in the food me and alicia have made... but i feel
like im not tired and even if i get 3 hours sleep it wont
matter. I feel weak.... literally... it takes a lot of
strength for me to even lift my arms and i feel so detached
from.... everything... i feel like bursting into tears and
just going somewhere.... anywhere but here (emotionally
that is) and i dont know about this.... whats wrong with
me???? i cant stand this.... and here i am rambling on
like a crazy person.... ahhh. Feels like everything is
building up and i can feel the weight... i just want it to
be released somehow... i dont know how... i hope i will
figure it all out before anything happens... i dont know
what would happen... but im just saying.... and how and i
supposed to figure something out if i dont know whats
wrong? ok, i AM going to bed by 11:30... thats in 7
minutes.... i WILL. hopefully.....