bRuIsEd VioleT
2002-03-16 06:32:32 (UTC)

strip bar stress!

so yeah, im so sick of all this strip bar confusion, every weekend, it sux cuz either me and laura cant get in cuz we dont have a fucking man escort, or its a stupid bikini bar, or one girl on a hockey table or 15 bux for the guys to get in, even the bar we go to every friday for 5 months are being cocks to us, i mean, i know the adult entertainment industry or whatever isnt a real respectable bussiness and all but it sux cuz its something to do and now we're getting all this shit from everyone... bastards.. so i hate how i get crushes on guys,... like when i liked gino, and brian r, now al... but i dont think he really likes me like that, i know he thinks im cute and little but i dont sense any hardcore flirting.. i know, im married but its not like im 40 and planning on fucking the guy...i just feel happy to hug him, i like travis barker alot too .. i feel so stupid and 14, but i get this dumb ass crushes on people still... gavin, tupac, johnny depp, its so retarded... today i got reservations made for nyc, hell yeah dude..and we got ocean city booked as well... need some new tattoos, i think tessa is cute and nice to me, we talk on the phone everyday now and email eachother lots, im meeting her tomorow for the first time, im staying over in akron with her... i know shes bi and hope she wants to cuddle, etc but i dont know if she realizes im married yet, its not like me and brian are joined at the ass or something, im completely independent from him, im still me, i have my own life, money and friends without him, i love him, but hes not my life, i hate girls who base everything on a guy and let them control any part of them, i can do whatever i want, and dont need anyone holding my hand while i do it. ames in kentuckey, janie is upset about her cats and asshole shaun, laura and al just left, its 1;30 am, we had dinner and drinx and videos and porn and strip bar frustrations... grrr... karyn is at school still and so is sarh till next week, aimee and me are having veg. potlucks monday, we went to cleveland to the peking gormet together last weekend, i slept at kent with laura, drinx, ladies, crush on her boyfriend.. ha ha....saw the casualties in pgh, rachel was there, and lizard and went to behind enemy lines cd realease show wed, dave and matt said we could crash at their place march 28 and we'll all make dinner, thought that was pretty cool... also went to caustic christ cd realese show the week before that, thats why i never write cuz im never fucking home.. but thats how i like it.. i dont wanna waste anytime while im only 21, i have years to settle down and get a house and have a baby butnow i just wanna travel, drink, get tattoos and lap dances, go to shows and just have lots of fun and no rules, fuck shit up...