Diary of Stuff (Volume I)
2002-03-16 00:12:50 (UTC)

You're MY Number one crush...heh

Friday, March 15, 2002 4:24:35 PM CST

Ohhhh, hell...

For years I abandoned reason and logic for the pursuit of
the uncatchable, the unknowable, when yesterday I came
across this in the "Catechism of the Catholic Church", and
nearly fell out of my chair:

"The desire for God is written in the human heart... Only
in God will he find the truth and happiness he never stops
searching for..."

"Although man can forget God or reject him, He never ceases
to call every man to seek him, so as to find life and
happiness. But this search for God demands of man every
effort of intellect..."

"The _human person_: With his openness to truth and
beauty, his sense of moral goodness, his freedom and the
voice of his conscience, with his longings for the infinite
and for happiness, man questions himself about God's
existence. In all this he discerns signs of his spiritual
soul. The soul, the 'seed of eternity we bear in
ourselves, irreducible to the merely material,' can have
its origin only in God."

"The world, and man, attest that they contain within
themselves neither their first principle nor their final
end, but rather that they participate in Being itself,
which alone is without origin or end. Thus, in different
ways, man can come to know that there exists a reality
which is the first cause and final end of all things, a
reality 'that everyone calls "God."'"

...I was going to write further, but it dawned on me what I
learned with my physics degree, that the universe is
teeming with energy. How can you be IN this universe, and
not OF it? You can't, can you? At a very fine scale, in
the seeming vacuum of empty space, we have what is referred
to as 'Quantum foam', a bubbling and roiling sea of energy
creating and annihilating particles at random, due to the
discovery of the intrinsicality (did I just make up that
word?) of the uncertainty principle. It is VERY random
down there, and is the point where Einstein's General
Relativity breaks down and quantum rules take over. But
this is the physical world...where does morality come in,
and charity, and love? When energy begets matter, and
matter begets more matter, this little area of foam begins
to take shape, because of the geometrical configuration of
its structure, its 'randomness' is more confined to within
this area of space. In the same vein, how do we
characterize, or explain, the timelessness of a photon?
What exactly is the passage of time, for that matter. Any
amount of mass will go through time dilation, but a photon
is regarded as massless, thus infinite dilation? Infinite
time dilation = timelessness... (Ugh, I may have this
wrong, and would probably have to go through all the
mechanics again, but still...) That makes sense... But,
the notes of a song touch us, other people touch us by
their it the universe written within all of us
that ...

I'm startin' to experience a real spectacular headache
right now, so hopefully I can continue this later.......I'm
interested in where this will lead....

Oh, by the way, the 'poem' that I 'wrote' this morning was
not from me. It's from a song entitled "Number One Crush",
and is from a group calling themselves "Garbage". It's a
haunting gothlike sort of melody, and the words just speak for
themselves, hehe.