daydream disbeliever

Mad Ramblings From a Blithering Idiot
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2002-03-15 17:56:34 (UTC)

Ides of March

I had my own little "Et-tu, Brute?" moment the other
day. L's been lying to me. She called me at work and told
me she hung out with an ex-boyfriend of hers, but all they
did was talk. Like an idiot, I believed her. Then she
called Steph and told her that she'd in fact slept with
him. She's done this before, but this is the last straw.
I've always told her the truth, so is it so horrible to
expect the same in return? I know it's not my place to
judge her, but I don't think I can really be friends with a-
in all honesty-lying whore. I've been betrayed
by "friends" too many times to take it any more. I think
I'd rather just be by myself forever rather than be
subjected to the company of people I can't trust. However,
I know I'll end up not saying anything and keep hanging out
with her, for lack of anything better to do. I'm a real
great person, ain't I? It makes me feel dirty.

The only person I've told about this is Tyson. He's
Steph's cousin and in the Navy. I've never met him; Steph
and Lisa gave him my e-mail so he would have someone to
write to and perhaps date if he ever comes back. I didn't
want them to do it, but I'm glad I have someone to write
to. However, the fact that I've never met him makes it a
little too weird.

Yesterday was a sort of "anonymous dude" day for me.
I wrote Tyson, then Kris came online. I haven't talked to
him nearly two months. It was good to catch up. We
discussed for almost two hours, then he had to go because
it was nearly two a.m. in the UK. I went in my room and
cleaned it for a while, then I got bored and went online
again. Monotony led me to the local irc chat. There was
this guy I chat with every once in a while in there. I was
surprised to see him, but glad because he's not a shallow
pervert and we can actually discuss interesting topics,
such as independent films, poetry, interpreting song
lyrics, etc. It's always fun talking to him.

Anyhoo, it's time to go now. I hope my Ides of March
won't be filled with more betrayal. I'm off to work soon-I
volunteered to come in since L2 is still sick with
pneumonial. That means six days this week and nearly 40
hours. That means I'll have a fat paycheck ready to send
to the IRS. Fuckers. Excuse my language, I don't mean to
be a profane little


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