Queen Bee

Just chillin.

Im just sittin here chillin waitin for my sissy and her
friend to get ready so that we can go to wal mart so we can
shop and get paint for my new room. Yes yes i rock. I ahve
been doin okay today, waitin to see if it hits me and i
jsut fall into a deep pit of on going non okayness. me and
my ma were sittin here talkin about how my ex's (the one i
always talk about, the one i love) mom does not like me.
she thinks im the worst thing in the world and i gave her
no reason to make her hate me, she juat doenst like me
bacause i like her son. Im actually a very pleasant person
when i want to be and need to be but most of the time i
dont care, bacuse im not changin myself for someone i dont
really care about one way or another. i meani would do it
for ex if he wanted me too but not for her. if she thinks
im trash she thinks im trash, really dont care about her
opinion of me. shes not the one i like. but anyways, still
waiting for the depression to hit me. cus ive jsut been to
happy today, something is gonna fuck it up. (knock on
wood). Man yesterday i was just not okay,i would just cry
for no reason. i cannot believe i let myself get like this.
i mean i know the dpression is not my fault but still. and
then the cutting,i cold have talked about it with someone
but i didnt even though i knew nothing was gonna get solved
by cutting and not telling anyone. Red dyed her hair black
and green-ish blue so shes not very red anymore. but still
the name fits cuz i always know her for her red hair, like
i will alwyas be known for my blonde hair even though right
now its brownis blondeish red. its an od color, i need to
dye it again. then ill go back to the blonde. One of my
other guy friends (he thinks hes in love with me) pierced
his own tongue, at least i had the knowledge of getting
mine prifesionally done, although a lot of old people i
know still think im crazy for getting it done anyways,but
still you never do things like that yourself, of course hes
never been one to think things thru, or even think for that
matter. apparentkly my sissy and her friend thinks you
havre to look beautiful to go to honkey town to go to wal-
mart. shes gettin dressed up for the white trash!! Anyways,
gotta go but i love you all. good bye.