LooLoo

well, dammit

Today is my mid-week weigh in. I know that I have been
working out and eating right. I know that I have been
making muscle where fat was. I just can't accept, though,
that being 1 lb heavier is ok.
I know I will probably be down some by Monday which is
my "official" weigh in day each week, but in the meantime,
for someone who is really tired of tuna and really wanting
a chicken biscuit or a Do-nut, this SUCKS. I am off at 3
today. I am going to go home and walk. I know I should work
out w/weights too. That is really making me feel stronger
every day. It makes me feel better about my ass too. I have
gotten a little off track by sprucing up my food a bit more
lately. Adding a little cheese here, a little something
there. Nothing that should put me over where my fat
grams/carb grams should be, but after today, I am going to
just be sparse this weekend. Eat my proteins and cut down
on my salad. Do away with the cheese. No breakfast til next
week. Tuesday. After weigh in day. Every time I have
weighed and lost it has really buoyed me up, so I want to
keep my momentum. (mentally and physically)

Next: Only 3 weeks and I will be in Atlanta to play with my
nieces!!!! Yay!!! YAY!!! YAY!!!! I just can't wait. I will
be able to be around them and have no guilt because I have
quit smoking!!! I just can't wait. Bug, the 2 yr old, got
on the phone last night with me. We were having such a
conversation. My sis says she has a friend at school that
she talks about all the time. Robert is his name. So I
asked if Robert was her boyfriend. She wouldn't even talk
to me anymore, because she got embarrassed and got the
giggles!! So cute!! She kept saying "LooLoo? Hotlanta,
LooLoo?" mmmmm Love the girls.... MG is well too. Her
monitor hasn't been going off nearly as much, so her
breathing and heart rate have been more stable. And, when I
talked to my sis last night, she was turning over!! She is
very smart :)

I have taken a mental health day from work tomorrow. I have
a "craft" project I am going to work on... It will involve
my favorite pair of jeans getting cut off mid-calf, so I
sure hope it turns out well. I am also going to work out &
REALLLY REALLLY clean house, my room, my bathroom. Our
house is DISGUSTING. Dust everywhere. And, hopefully, it
won't be too chilly and I can open the windows to clear out
some of the smoke smell. I wish my roomie would stop
smoking. The house stinks. And, even though it stinks, it
really makes me want a smoke when she is standing beside me
smoking, or walking around the house smoking. Or worse yet,
when I am drinking my coffee in the morning and I can smell
the smoke residue smell. Than makes it really difficult!

I talked to the guy from up north a few days ago. Probably
for a good hour and a half. I wish we could really meet and
have a chance to hang out. I like him (his personality)
sooooooo much. He must feel the same way, because he tells
me he is uncomfortable talking with other people about the
silly things we discuss. On the other hand, if we were to
get together in person, I might act in a totally different
way. It's easy to be really confident on the phone.

Oh well, time to get back to work. Came in early so I could
actually get some things accomplished. Which I did. A diary
entry. :)