may 12, 2001
some times i look at myself and i just have to laugh. i
look at my life and all the things that i have yet to do
and compare it to all the things i have done...and i get
lost in the coulda woulda shoulda syndromm that i am sure
so many other people know very well.
this is my first entry in my diary so i will just tell
every one a little bit about my self.
my name is Ivy and i am 19 years old...i will be 20 on
I graduated high school and tried the college thing 3
times. the first two times i wasnt ready and the last time
i had to leave due to circumstances that were beyond my
i am a dreamer. I like to dance in the rain. I like to
make people wonder. I am mysterious and loud while
remaining sweet and devoted to the ones i love. I stand up
for what i believe in and i always find a non-violent way
to make my oppinions and thoughts heard and known if not
I am wiccan. Wicca is a Pagan religion that celebrates the
connects of spirit, mind, and body. Wiccans devote their
lives to honoring the Goddess and the God along with all
other living beings such as trees, plants, animals, stones,
elements, spirits, other dieties, and all other Humans.
Wiccans are also known as Witches and are widly and
commonly missunderstood. There is no such thing as "black
magick" in wicca because the one real true law that a
Wiccan follows is "An Ye Harm None, Do What Ye Will" which
goes along with the 3fold law. A wiccan lives to do no
harm to another being or life form, they use their powers
only for good and for the healing and helping of themsleves
and of others. the 3fold law simply states that everything
you do comes back to you times three....that means good
things and bad things.
I am in love with a wonderful man. He inspires me, pushes
me to follow my dreams, supports me, and believes in me in
ways that i never drempt another person could. The sad
part is that at this moment we can not be physicaly
together. His name is Emanuel and he is in Florida right
now where we lived together and i am stuck up in
massachusettes where my family lives. But we are doing
this hardship in order to better life for our selves. If
you read this emanuel, i love you very much and i miss you
more then you could possibly know. Being up here again is
teaching me alot about myself and it is helping me in many
ways to deal with some things that i have always run
from... such as myself.
My best friend Kelly has been my best friend for about 8
years and we have been having a great time together since i
have been up here. She just asked me to be her maid of
honor at her wedding next year but she also begged me not
to go back to florida. it is f eally hard for me to do
becuz i dont wwant to lose her as my friend but i miss
florida and i miss my other best friend Carol who in
florida and of course, i miss emanuel and his great
family. His family is really wonderful and they did alot
for us when we were having some hard times and i am
grateful for that.
About my dreams...... I want to be a million and one things
I want to be a Writer, i want to teach english literature,
i want to teach english as a second language, i want to be
a rock star ( lol no i dont have any musical talents i jsut
always wanted to be a rock star lol), i want to be a
mother, i want to be an actress, i want to be a jouranlist
and a tv reporter. I want to be an activist who makes a
difference for the causes she fights for. I want to be a
role model, i want to be a good faithful friend and a
loving and supportive soulmate. I want to be mysterious
and i want to be sexy ( like grace kelly, maralynn monroe)
i want to be special, i want to be successful, and i want
more then anything i want to be happy and content.
so u see, i dont want much in life..... just the basics lol
well i dont really know what else to write about myself
right now so i guess i will just say "talk to y'all later"
and end this for now.
if you are interested in anything i have said then feel
free to email me @ [[email protected]] or check out my web
thanks for checkin out my diary and come back soon!!!
lots of love and peace ~ivy~ ~BLESSED BE~