My Life.............
2002-03-13 16:05:40 (UTC)

hey, im on a roll with getting..

hey, im on a roll with getting people to forgive me this
week.LOL I sent Richard an email, well, a few, the first
couple were nasty, then i thought this i s getting me no
where, so, i sent a very nice email, and we are talking
again, he even added me back to his list, something he said
he would never do.:) he told me it would take a long time
for him to trust me again, which i understand that, i
promised him no more lies....and i sent Brian a message
lastnight, i told him i was sorry and i missed him, he sent
a message today and said "really, why??" so, i told him i
had a crush on him, and i missed doing the things we did..:)
i can be nice when i want to be, people just get me on my
bad days, it seems like they can sense my mood and they try
to get me going...
I talked to Jeff lastnight, he asked the dates for when we
were comming to Ilinois, he said he wanted to make sure hes
there, A. told me not to tell him she thinks hes going to
leave town on those days, i just told Jeff sometime in the
summer, and that was it, he didnt talk to me again..:( when
i look back i cant believe how much of an idiot i was, i
drooled all over him, man, his ego must have been huge.LOL i
can honestly say now, that its not so bad now, i do still
like him but not as much as i once did, he was right when he
told me one day i wouldnt even give him the time of day, the
old me would have cried and asked him why he wasnt talking
to me lastnight, but, i left it go i didnt send any messages
after he stopped talking, man, it feels good to know that i
can do that now, im so proud of me..:)
There is another guy on my yahoo, i think hes a little bit
strange, he tells me hes happily married, shes his soulmate
and all this stuff, and i told him how easily i fall for
men, but, i told him since hes married i woudlnt fall for
him, then hes telling me i want him and i want him to leave
his wife, then yesterday he was talking about role playing,
and he asked me if he made me happy, and if i thought about
him last weekend, he was even trying to counsel me.LOL so,
now he only hears the things he wants to hear, i let him
thing that im this little hurt thing, and i need his help,
he said ive dealt with people like you before, i was like
people like me???LOLo well let him believe what he wants,
but, hes not going to hear that ive fallen for him, cause
that just isnt happening, i dont even know him.LOL