humming bird

Girls Night

so it's Friday night and my parents are out of town, they
are in West Virginia visiting my grams. Now normally when
they r out of town i have like lil parties and stuff and
os tongiht i wanted to have a girls night. now our girls
nights are normally fun but tonight sucked. these guys
showed up that i didn't want here and i kept trying to get
them to leave but they wouldnt..ok so here is the whole
story from the beginning
see these guys mike, tony and dustin all kept asking
bout coming over here and i told them not to and everything
so they ended up goin to this kids house down the street
from me and one of their bikes had gotten stolen and then
they came to my house to use the phone and call the cops
and my brother does not like them and he didnt want them
here and he said if the girls were sleepin here he didnt
want them tlakin to them he wanted them in the house, they
couldnt get that through their heads or something tho and
the guys left for a while and we were gonna go to megs to
get this home video and they kept walking with us and i
just started getting really sick to my stomach, only one
girl seemed to care and i was just getting agrivated cuz we
didnt even go to megans we jsut walked around with the guys
and i kept having to stop and like sit cuz my sotmahc hurt
so bad and then stina finally asked what was wrong with me
and i was like my stomach hurts not that any of you care
and she goes ok that is why i jsut asked event ho i had
been saying for like 15 minutes i didnt feel good and jsut
wanted to go home but they were ignoring me and then this
one car stopped and was talkin to us and stina bought a
pack of cigarettes from them bc she is getting addicted as
hell. and i couldnt take it anymore bc everything was
driving me insane and i jsut started crying, and then when
someone actually noticed i was crying they asked why and i
told why, i said it was bc of everything i was really
frusrated with them and just wanted the guys to go cuz i
knew if they left the girls would come back to my house and
that i hated watching them smoke especially stina cuz she
was with me all thru the whole thing with my gramps and
that was what he died from and i hated just sitting back
and watching her do that to herself and i knew that i had
done it b4 but i wasnt gonna anymore... and it is the
truth, i just dont want to, and i just kept thinking about
everything with stina... like i love her like a sister but
i hate it that she is being so stupid, she knows in the
long run she will become addicted and she jsut keeps doing
it, but it just bothers me that she totally disreguarded
everything with my gramps like it didnt happen... i dont
want to end up seeing her in that same spot one day and she
was with me the whole time!!! and she does it anywayz i
mean i hate seeing her kill herself slowly and she doesnt
care, i know it is her life and her choice but she has to
understand what she decides effects the ppl around her and
i love her to much to just be like oh yeah go smoke up when
i know what it is doin...and everytime i thought aboutt his
i just kept crying harder and harder and then we got back
to my house and we were all standing outside and the guys
would not leave and i just wanted to go inside and nikki
and stina just kept standing there so we finally got inside
and then karolina had to go so stina and nikki and megan
walked her home and then when they came back we just
watched a movie and went to bed... and they were all out by
1:00 how much fun is that!! and my bro isnt even home! so
yeah i am bored off my ass an i just love my frineds...the
whole reason for having a girls night is becuz we have been
kinda loosing touch with two of our friends and they were
here but yeah i love my friends all of them to death but i
just hurt sometimes ya know, like i just wanna lay down and
die cuz it all gets to be to much and i feel like i cant
deal but i just suck it up and act like nothing is worng
and it comes and goes and life goes on and everything
passes, but i would never give up all of the memories i
have with my friends or any of the memories we still have
to make for anything, i would never give up on life. alot
of times i just sit and watch my friends and everyone
around me and it makes me appreciate everything even tho
there are bad times but yeah i am gonna go to sleep now so
good night
luv julie