Absinthe Inspired Ramblings...
2002-03-12 18:31:44 (UTC)

The Show Must Go On (Focus)

NOTE: Written between scenes during the Saturday (03-09-02) Matinee
Performance of KMK in attempt to stay focused despite all
of the craziness going on around me.

I don’t know what to think about Zack and I. He’s one of
the best friends I’ll ever have. I wonder if dating him
would ruin that friendship. He’s the only person who has
been there for me through everything. When I told him about
Cory, he cried. He cried for me. No one has every really
done that before. “When I think back on these times… I’ll
be glad cause I was blessed to get to have you in my life.”
Cory really gets me down. I can’t even talk to him with out
him being an asshole. My dad told me the other day never to
write something down and expect it not to be read. I don’t
care if it is read. I want Cory to read this and realize
how much he messed me up. But I don’t want to let it get to
me. “I hate men.”

“Too Darn Hot” = Too Darn Awful!!! Tonight we have to do it
for Jacob, if not for us… Lord I’m tired!

Wow, Susie did so well in “Always True to You”! I wish I
had that role. Oh well, I suppose that’s why one should
never anger a director. Anyway, back to Zack. He’s really
an awesome guy. Sometimes I really like him and at other
times he’s just my buddy. Oh my gosh! I can’t believe that
someone actually asked me if he was gay! I think it was
Alex, she thinks she has gaydar, but I’m thinking no. I’m
so tired, but this is keeping me sane. I really want to
kill Cory. I hate the way he looks at me. He’s such an
asshole! On the other hand, eye flirting with the cute
stage manager and the bands bassist is lots of fun.

I found out later that the bassists name is Eddie. Stuart
was talking to him before the start of the second show down
in the pit. I walked up with my headphones on and sat down
in the center front of the stage. I was singing “Time to
Say Goodbye” really loud and he told Stuart that I sang
really well. He didn’t think I could hear him, but I took
off my headphones and said thanks and that he plays very
well. Then he asked me if my little two bar solo was the
only one I had and I said yes. He told me that he always
strains to hear it (I already know this because he’s looked
at me before I sing it every time). Then he said it was a
good start and I was like, yea, for a freshman, but I’m a
senior. He asked if this was my first musical and I told
him it was, but not for lack of auditioning. He kind of got
a puzzled look on his face and then we changed the subject
to band geeks. I told him that I played clarinet once and
found out I wasn’t very good and that now I’m trying to
learn Bass. Then he gave me his card and told me to call
him sometime about lessons or otherwise. Score! :-P. I
don’t have time for lessons right now, but I’ll probably
call him anyways to see what I can do. ;-).

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