sheesh ya fuck
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2002-03-12 04:26:06 (UTC)

my monthly trip to my horrid savior

today i went to the psychiatrist and left like always
outraged,violent and screaming inside my head. im stable im
fucking stable now stop feeding me pills. medicated
meaningless place. tell me for once nothing is wrong. tell
me im alright. i just need this. only the ones that care
about you the most will tie the blind fold on and say its
fantastic life is grand and hardly do you get that comfort
usually its drugs that you can always turn to for that
either way it makes me want to bleed the truth out.
Fucking liars. im tired of someone keeping a tab on my
emotions..elevate me in this speak too much logic
i dont want to see black and cant take that away
from me..your voice is trained to twist at sparks i throw
at you and i see that even you have anger arising at the
words i spit out. so i caught you point blank in act i just
want to go. i stare at the door im reading into evrey wood
grain wandering into them a maze that makes the room settle better it
spins and sways..and a stern harsh voice blows out the
is it? im keeping you up untill you awaken..he is a savior a ugly
sick bitch..keeps me here..i want out to flee the grip you have on
me..i will just get sick again and shrivel into a wounded butterfly
i miss waking up in tears thats how i know that im too sober..too
wide eyed..this is how i know im not a ghost whithering in
these halls, its soothing..too bleed its home to hurt..maybe i dont
know any better maybe im a bitch. i stop trying to figure these
things out.