Claudia

once again
2002-03-12 03:18:54 (UTC)

it's a way out, right?

So, I thought my sister had been ignoring me forever
becuase of something I did. However she confronted me
today on the fact of missing money for a few weeks now.
The kids have money missing and she lost 100 last week and
40 this week. She thinks it's Shawn and a part of me does
too. Where else does it go? So I asked him tonight if he
knew anything about it and he said no. So what now? They
want the truth and they know that if this is real if won't
tell us becuase he's scared of the consequences. The truth
will be better...he won't loose a home. If he lies still
he'll have to go. And I'll have to bring him and I'll
die. So what the hell do I do? I love him to death but
this is going to kill me. I don't understand how he could
steal from her after what they've done for him. But did he
owe too much for pot? Is it something he can't
control...he knows it's wrong but it's a compulsive thing?
I don't getit and any way I go about doing anything else
will make him go nuts. So, did I loose him again? It's
hurting really deep inside me and I want it to stop. I've
been confused for the longest time if this is right and if
I should live here and all that. But when it comes down to
it I could totally say I don't believe you get the fuck out
and bring him back to Florida and be done with it. Or I
could totally be on his side even though I don't believe
him and say that she's wrong. I don't know. I wonder if
there's more out there but then I feel so right in his
arms. Just when I think he's not it, he'll make me fell
wonderful. So it's a no win situation and I'm stuck in the
middle.