2002-03-12 00:27:01 (UTC)

Forced Conversational Intimacy- All about Hon's!

The most blatant and ignorant way anyone can try to force
themselves on you is by faking conversational intimacy.
There is almost nothing worse than for someone I do not
know, or barely know to call me "Hon." Gah! I'd rather you
point and scream, "Hey you with the face!"

Again, there is almost nothing worse. The only thing more
annoying than some waitress named Flo to call me hon is
when people I know refer to me as such. At least the
waitress has the excuse that she's 59, a chain smoker, and
no one expects any different. Again, while annoying, I can
deal with it since I only have to spend an hour of my life
with her. However, I would appreciate it if people with
whom I actually spent time would extend the courtesey of at
least referring to me as I would like to be.

"Hon, you're amazing." "Hon, you did a wonderful job on
that." "Know who's the greatest? You hon." "Hey hon! Want
to catch a movie, hon?" God, sometimes I can't help but
surmise that people have forgotten my name. And, perhaps in
1% of the cases this is true. Hell, the other day my
Resident Advisor labeled a folder of mine "Susan", because
he somehow thought that my name had morphed into that of my
former roommate. Though, perhaps if he didn't call
me "Sweetie" or "Hon" everytime he saw me, he would know
what my name was.

But here's the thing... some people call others hon even
when they know their name! Actually, some people call
EVERYONE with whom they socialize hon! But why on earth
would someone do that? Why not call someone by their name?
Isn't it easier than keeping track of Hon #1, #2 and #3?
One would think so.

There are a few explinations I offer to squelch any mystery
behind this baffling phenomena. You'll see that really,
when you think about it, the reasoning behind why people do
this isn't exactly rocket science. In my humble opinion,
it's more akin to Lincon Log logic, if you will.

To feel popular and loved, people like being on a nickname
basis with others. And, being that they haven't the need or
desire to learn a thing about that person, they just settle
on calling them "Hon." It is easier for them, and makes
them feel as if they actually posess a whole phalanx of
friends... all answering to the name "Hon" of course.

The secondary and probably most common reason is pure and
complete ignorance. Ignorance of society, ignorance of
people, ignorance of social customs, courtsey.... that and
a horribly limited vocabulary.