2002-03-12 00:25:53 (UTC)

3rd Grade Teacher trapped in a Professor's body....

I have a teacher who may not necessarily be from
But each class with her I want so desperately to tell her
Because she cannot comprehend
That grad students do not need a friend
But a person who will give them knowledge in buckets!

Alright... that was one of the most horrible little
parodies I have ever written. However, it does serve my
purpose. It also models the very way said professor
communicates with my class. Not only does she talk to us
like we're 3rd graders, she also is quick to put up
the "Teacher = best buddy" facade whenever she is able to
do so. She constantly boasts that her 4 children are either
in college, or just got out of college, so she 'understands
the plight of the typical college student.' Um.. no.
Actually, you understand how to be a mother of a college
student.. since, I'm sure you don't remember your own
experiences. It is quite hard to recall things that
occurred before the onset of menopause, isn't it?

I think the first problem we have here is that she is an
Adjunct professor. It is common knowledge that 99.9% of all
Adjuncts are complete crap. The only semi-decent one I have
had was in a labratory class... wherin we basically taught
ourselves.. thus she was more of a resource guide than a
teacher. Hence the reason why she was semi-decent in the
first place.

Adjuncts are first and foremost the biggest BSers alive.
Why? Well, the only thing you have to do to be an adjunct
is to fool the school into thinking that your resume (in my
professor's case, containing experience only vaguely
related to my class) qualifies you to teach a certain
subject. I am sorry to say that with my class (Group
Dynamics), my university decided that any interaction with
any kind of group, anytime, anywhere, qualified this woman
to teach the class. "Woo! Let's throw a person who can't
stay with one profession for more than a year into a 400
level Psych class and see what happens!" Sounds like the
start to a horrible episode of "The Real World." And yes,
this professor would definately be the whiny brat who is
always complaining about her life to the camera. No doubt
about it.

That said let's go into her non-existant teaching style.
She is constantly suggesting themes to us, but yet never
explains them. This usually is met by utter silence from
the class, and her giving a nervous giggle and asking us
the question again... stated in an even more befuddled way.
Directly following this is a question by one of the more
direct members of the class, more or less asking her what
the hell she is talking about. That makes her yet again
restate the question in a more confusing way making us care
even less to listen to her. This makes her tap her foot in
impatience and launch into one of her "When I was a little
girl in Greece" stories, making us tune her out even more,
missing her actual point completely, forgetting the actual
points she made at the beginning of the class,*deep breath,
then speeds up* which serves to make her more agitated and
give us more pointless busywork assignments like writing
down feeling words... and oh no, I've gone cross-eyed.

Being a Group Dynamics class, we of course have to interact
with groups right? WRONG! Most of the things she has us
doing are personal reflections on what we SEE in groups.
She even has us keep a weekly journal about certain things
we observe in a group setting. Hum.. last I heard, it was a
lot more effective to actually BE in said group rather than
WATCH it.. but.. perhaps I'm just thinking radically.

Our latest project in there is a 8-10 page research paper.
Subject: Anything to do with Group Dynamics. The only
requirement is that we back up whatever we say "with actual
research articles from published journals" (as opposed to
the fake research articles in unpublished journals, of
course). She has insisted, to our annoyance, that we have
to copy and give her all of our research materials so that
she can check them over to make sure we are using actual
journals. We all, except the 2 Evil females that serve as
her "Yes men", questioned her practice on this... stating
that it was a 400 level class and that most of us could
recognize what a real article was. To this she just smiled,
took another long sip of java from her always steaming mug,
and said that it was her "job to keep us on track.. for our
own good." That made me think... whose job is it to keep
her on track? Because someone needs to put a flame under
their ass sometime soon.. since they obviously are doing a
worse job than she is