Mikey's Journal
2002-03-11 21:58:05 (UTC) almost happened

What a day. It started off ok. Ben took me up into Pisgah
Forest for a picnic. That was great. He got 2 subs and 5
cookies from Subway and some drinks at Wal-mart. We drove
around for awhile and we were going to go to his house, but
his mom was home so we decided not to. So we went to our
favorite make-out spot. We kissed for awhile. We almost
went all the way, but we won't without any condoms, so Ben
drove down to this gas station and bought some. We went
back to our make-out spot, but after a few minutes decided
to go to my house for awhile. We started watching a dvd,
but then got bored and went to my room. While we were in
there he....well let's just say that I got some pleasure.
Not actual sex. Sence my dad was up we went out to his car.
While we were in there, we were going to finish, but both
of us got really horny so we drove down the street where we
could be alone. He pulled the condoms out and started to
put one on when I got a little scared and said "Are you
serious?" So then we were both out of the mood and we
talked for a few minutes. I felt really bad about it, but
Ben told me that he loves me and won't force me to do
anything I don't want to do. I believe him because I love
him too and I know that in about 3 or 4 years we want to be
married to each other. I know that will probably screw up
my future, but I won't let that happen and neither will
Ben. We both want to go to college. We'll probably go the
at the same time. Anyway, after we talked for about 15
minutes he brought me back to my house because he had to be
home at 4:30 and it was almost 4:00. We're both glad it
didn't happen because we're waiting for marriage. We almost
had sex because we love each other so much and we were in
the mood. But he's at home right now and so am I. I just
feel really weird. I hope his mom doesn't find out becuse
she would probably tell my dad and then he would make us
break up. I couldn't do that to Ben. My dad doesn't
understand how much me and Ben love and need each other.