2002-03-11 20:45:02 (UTC)

emotional rollercoaster ride

up and down, down and up. and, it's not even about having
sex! he's in australia, says he wants a long distance
relationship with me. he comes home, says long distance
relationships don't work. a month later, he starts talking
about marriage. another month later, long distance
relationships don't work. urgh!

could he not say anything until he knows what the hell he
wants?! i am just soooo tired of all this. it's bad
enough that i have to deal with the crap involved with his
leaving. now to deal with this shit? i should just make
up our minds for him. i mean, why get me all started about
marriage and then turn around and blast me with all this

actually, it's all soooo damn confusing, i haven't the
slightest idea what i'm doing. i guess it's called going
through the motions. and, that's what i'm doing. going
through the motions and nothing else.

why not just leave things as they are. why do i need a
commitment from him? because i want to spend the rest of
my life with someone. and, that someone is him.