Meshed Up
2002-03-11 12:51:36 (UTC)

In The End

i have lost everything that i hold dear. i have no one to
talk to. no one to run to. i am going out of my mind!!

away from me you demons! you monsters who torment my
soul .. my being... away from me! leave me alone!!

i can not take this anymore... my tears are
falling...stumbling...refusing to stop as i write.. as i
struggle to find the answers to the questions that i've
been asking for so long.

i have lost everything. i have lost the people whom i held
close to my heart. i have no one... no one.....

i am alone.....and alone i shall walk...alone i shall die...

the people i turn to during my times of need have turned
their backs on me. i have been called stupid. hopeless.
crazy. perhaps i am. perhaps i am crazy...

everything i've learned, everything i've done...they're all
pointless. useless. they have not made me a better person.

i curse this world. i curse the people who claim to be my
friends and yet are not. i curse my achievements for giving
me a false sense of security, for giving me a sense of
purpose. i curse my family for turning me into this
creature. i curse myself for being me.

i am no better than i used to be before.

so you see, in the end, there is everything, and yet there
is nothing.

dear god where are you when i need you most? i can't even
feel you...i don't even know where you are...

i have abandoned all hope.

i will walk this path alone. i will stumble and fall..but i
will rise and walk again. i will walk until i reach the
end. until i break down and collpase. until i can no longer
walk anymore.

i was born into this world crying. i shall leave crying.