soulsucked

04/23/2001

This is something I wrote before I had an account on here
so I decided to put it here now...

04/23/2001

"...Come visit me at work today..." my friend, Elisse,
told me over ICQ...

This was in response to me bitching about how everything
and everyone sux...I told her I would try and then we
talked about some other stuff that isn't really important.
So I started working on some work for a bullshit class that
manages to ask us what we want to do with our lives about
5943709837485 fucking times; re-worded EACH fucking
TIME...(It would have been easier if I took the class but I
opted for the booklet instead where we have to do all the
work in our spare time). So I revised my resume and saved
it on to a disk to take to school because my printer works
not...just great but whatever..when I realised that if I
was to visit her I would have to leave soon as her shift
ends in a couple hours (this is at about 8:15ish pm).

So I was walking up to her place of employment because I
don't own a vehicle of my own, and my discman is broken so
I have no music; I was kept entertained by the courus of a
few songs, over and over because that is the only part I
knew...one of them was Garbage's "As Heaven is Wide;" when
I saw 3 cars drive by, all of which owned by persons of or
around the same age as me, all of which showing off the
apparent "power" of their vehicles...all I could think as
each one drove by was "asshole...asshole...asshole..." If I
had a car I would do the same thing...but until then...

Down the road I got to evaluating my current position:
going behind one of my best friend's backs to see another
of my best friends...off in the distance a loud screechy
whining noise made its way to my ears...I wondered what it
was; then as it slowed down it became apparent that a car
was in the middle of a burnout...smoke show if you
will..."asshole." So I was pondering my predicament and I
got to thinking, "Why am I afraid? I shouldn't have nothing
to hide...I am glad that she is worried about me and I
apreciate her concern but after that, why not let me live
on my own?" I guess that is sort of what she is doing
though...or at least she said. But even still, I hesitate
to tell her what I am really up to. I don't like that. I
tend to be weak when it comes to the opposite sex,
especially when they are crying...and I hate people getting
mad at me. Females are superior to males but I can't
explain that right now. Fucking penis.

Well anyways, by this time I almost at the convenience
store I planned to stop at before I see Elisse and the
smell of burning rubber was thick in the air..."asshole." I
get in the store and head towards the Sobe, grab a black
herbal iced tea and walked towards the hot dogs. Fuck,
there are none...and I was hungry too. I walked back over
to the Sobe section but this time I pick up a Go-Go;
dietary suppliment/energy drink...whatever, I buy the shit
and start drinking my Sobe...back on my way to see Her.

I walked in and she was helping customers so I started to
walk past but then she called me over...she was surprised
that I came to visit. "No one ever listens to me." she
said. I told her that in that case I won't come next time;
I know that isn't true. I'll at least try. We talked as she
worked; laughed at the early 90's. Damn, she is hot...as
far as looks go, she is perfect; bullshit there is no such
thing as perfection. Personality wise is another matter;
she is a slut. She is a good person but she has cheated on
every boyfriend she has. I don't know. About 10 minutes
later I had to leave. She wanted a kiss on the cheek, I
kissed her on the cheek. I left.

I decided to take a shortcut home through some path behind
a grocery store. As I headed toward it, stories I have
heard of people getting jumped behind there started echoing
through my head movie style. I hoped it wouldn't happen; I
would really hate to have to waste the rest of my Sobe on
some fuckin punk's head...that's good shit. Nothing
happened though. Too bad, I was willing to waste the rest
of my Sobe on some fuckin punk's head...that shit would
have been cool.

I don't know what Elisse's intention's are...the friend
who's back I was behind says she is just trying to use me
and would only end up hurting me. Elisse's intentions seem
well enough...then again I have a penis...fuck this shit,
how should I know?