y2jailbait

Latino Heeeeeeat's Method of Madness
2001-05-11 02:43:32 (UTC)

Heartbreak

Its in my life again. That feeling of unwantedness. That
shitty feeling of you not being good enough for another
person. Devastation is in my life again, and its not wanted
by me or my conscience. The situation i put myself this
time is the same as the last 10 times. I sorta like a girl
than it turns into a full scale crush, then i tell someone
and eventually everyone and the rest is well history. Ive
never had a great relationship with my girlfreinds or
possible girlfreinds. Its always been my bitterness that
gets me to distance myself away from them. Who knows, maybe
i couldve became great friends with one of em and
eventually become what i always wanted to be, a great
boyfriend. This Lil problem is a fuckin bitch to me. I
cant help but fall in love with any girl that shows
interest in me. I cant help but to just feel like "this is
the one" all the time. I dont know what to do, its just
killin me, just killin me. I fell in love with this girl
and she took me apart. No one understands how much i need
love in my life. I wish someone would just love me for who
i am, i wish someone would just actually fall for me and
chase me around. That'll never happen though, i can just
picture my marriage life(if i have one). Ill ask her and
ill practially have to beg her to get her to say yes. Then
when its time to say i do, she'll say i dont and run off
with my best man, the story of my love life right there.
Maybe theres someone out there for me, who knows, i might
find them tomorrow, or maybe next week. Hell, ill probably
never find them at all. I just want a girl that will
appreciate my excentric attitude. My sly humor and my
sudden mood swings. I want someone i can grow old with and
love forever. The bad thing is that when i do find this
person, theyll never even know it because they dont even
like me as the person they see. My whole personality is a
front. I can be a jackass one day, and a super intellegent
asshole the next. The girls i see often already think they
know what im like. They think im loud, wierd and very
crazy. The type of person that thier parents wont want them
going out with or worst thier friends. But ill keep trying,
hoping to see the life of love that i need and hope is
ahead.




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