Ad 0:
2001-05-10 17:37:39 (UTC)

May 10,2001

OK OK I fucked up I was planning on writing in this thing
everyday. Well, now I guess I can't even do this right. I
called out of work sick today cause noone was going to be
home and for the next two weeks at work I'm gonna get
killed and I'm going to be a real bitch and really tired so
I thought I owed it to myself to do this. Nice excuse
right!!!! I don't feel to guilty about it. I got alot of
work dome yesterday and the schedule wasn't bad at all to
day so...why the hell not take a nice day off and spend it
with my best friend Ginny... There I go again making yet
another pitiful excuse. It should be a really nice
relaxing day though.
Ginny and I went out driving last night like we all used to
do in high school. Just driving around not paying attention
to where we would end up and just bull shitting the night
away. I told her that I was really thinking about how I
wanted to marry Luis. I can really see us together. I
told Luis what Ginny and I were talking about and he said
that he could see us getting married, but that he was to
broke to buy me a nice ring...LOL How cute is he. He also
said that he was invited to go away Memorial Day weekend
with some friends. I really thought he was going to tell
me that he was going to go, but HOLY SHIT was I suprised
that he said that he wasn't going for a few reasons one was
that he couldn't afford to go away on a bunch of trips this
summer cause Carlos his brother is getting married and he
needs to save money and the other reason is that if he does
go away this summer he wants it to be with me. AWWWWWW!!!!!
I knew I loved him for many reasons. He's taught me so
much about myself and how I can love again. I really never
thought it would happen and especially not with him seeing
how we met me being the "other woman" and all. I'm really
glad it didn't turn out to be just a one night stand. After
3 years of knowing him I can honestly say that he's one of
my best friends besides Ginny abd I truly love him on every
level imaginable. I know know what love is really supposed
to be like.
I'm at Ginny's house right now waiting to go with her to
the doctor. I'm scared for her. So many things seem to be
going wrong for wise and home life too. I
often ask myself, how can someone so wonderful and caring
and who deserves so much to be happy...why life hands her
this plate full of shit??? I truly hope oneday she
realizes how special she is and how she makes anyones life
she's a part of be better and more fulfilling. She a
beautiful person inside and out...I wish she could see that
and actually believe it. She has so much pain...she also
makes her pain too. She tries so hard to make people
approve of her and to get them to love her. I know oneday
it will happen for her...I pray that it's not to late. One
of my greatest fears is that she'll give up..What would I
do with out her???? Oh well I better get going..Do I dare
say that I'll continue this later......we shall see.....
Your guess is as good as mine.....