ashley

writings on the wall
2002-03-09 13:00:05 (UTC)

is there someone out there for me?

Am i asking for too much in a boyfriend? I think
it's just normal that every girl wants a guy who loves &
accepts her as who she is, weaknesses & all. i want a guy
who will be there for me when i need him, to comfort me
when i am down, to tell me that he loves me without
freaking out.

i am scared of guys saying "i love you" too soon.
afraid that they said that because they feel obliged or
because they want to get into my pants. i remembered how i
felt when my ex said that three magical little words to me
for the first time. come to think of it, i guess i was
naive. i guess saying "i love you" after sex doesn't
really count but when you are with a person you really
like, you don't really care, do you?

i don't think it's important that my boyfriend is
rich or not. i don't mind going dutch. i don't mind having
to call him sometimes instead of always him doing it. i
don't mind him not having a car. i don't mind him smoking
in front of me. i don't mind not seeing him every day.

i mind him flirting with other girls in my presence.
i mind him talking about his ex. i mind him not cuddling
me after sex. i mind him disliking my girlfriends. i mind
him trying to control how i should or should not dress. i
mind him being WAY too possessive or jealous.

i want to be in love, but i don't know if i am
ready for it or not. i can't find the right guy & i am
scared that i'll get hurt. i am confused but i really hope
that there's really a Mr Right out there for me...whoever
you are, i'll be waiting!