2002-03-09 06:18:57 (UTC)


I cheated on this diary by starting a new one. I did it
because.....I don't know why I did it to be truthful. I
didn't feel right though. It was on the same site, but it
just didn't feel right being under another name. I just
came to the conclusion that if I started here....I'm gonna
finish here. I'm 100 entries....I've had this thing for a
while now.

Anyway, I've been having crazy dreams. Well, only two that
I can name. One was really crazy....the other retarded.
Okay, the first dream was retarded. I dreamed that I was
sitting in class and Leroy walked in and sat next to me. He
didn't say anything to me and I didn't say anything to him.
But he just put his arm around me and I just laid my head
on his shoulder. We didn't say anything to each other....we
just sat there. When my class was over, I thought he was
going to go off somewhere else, but he came with me to my
next class. I don't know. It was really stupid. The second
dream was even more far-fetched. In that dream, I was
pregnant, but I didn't know until I went into labor. When I
had the baby, I gave it away for adoption. Then Leroy came
home for the weekend or something and some kind of way
found out about the baby. So, he came to me and asked me
about OUR baby, but I told him that I gave it up.....so he
got upset because he said he wanted to raise the baby
together. It was pyscho. Maybe I'm pyscho for dreaming that
silly mess. I'm puzzled because the dreams happened two
nites in a row. I haven't dreamed of that darn boy in
forever....why all of a sudden now? Ummm...don't know!

But anyway, I've been getting myself organized these days.
I'm doing pretty good at it too. I'm studying more and
doing better in school. I look at so many people my age and
I see that they stress out over boy/girlfriends....I'm glad
I don't have that. I don't worry about anything
really...but myself. I have people that I may like, but it
doesn't consume me these days. I don't know if I'm slowly
going heartless or I don't really like anyone. It's too
early to tell. (*I saw this person I once saw before, my
mind was held captive....I was blank. This person makes me
afraid of everything I already know.*) Well the lids are
getting heavy.