elingrace4eva

Kat's Amazingly Wonderful Diary
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2002-03-09 05:24:03 (UTC)

Yes, I realize it's the same day

Dear Diary,
OK, so I relaize how pathetic it truly is to be writing at
12:12 on a Friday night, but I really don't have anything
better to do. I was just sitting here, after watching the
rerun of Once and Again on Lifetime, and I was pondering
life, liberty,and the pursuit of happiness. OK, not
really, but I was sort of pondering the meaning of life.
Yes, everyone, that is what I do at midnight when I realize
my life is more pathetic than anything in the entire
world. OK, so my friend Kaylie, who is a die hard mormon,
convinced me to come to her church and play with her team
at a basketball game. So I'm sitting there, looking at all
the church related things (oh, just by the way, I'm
extremely atheist, and don't really care about anything,
but back to the story.) OK, so I'm sitting there, and I
realize that my life doesn't really have a purpose. Sure,
I can bitch and moan about the fact that I don't have a
boyfriend, and I can simply moan over Shane West and Stuart
Townsend, but where does that really get me? Well,
apparantly, home alone on a Friday night on my computer,
pondering the meaning of life. I'm not normally like this,
I'll just have you know. It's just that recently, I've
been really confused about a bunch of things, and it seems
that this constant worrying about the emptiness of human
existence is just all of those things I'm confused about
being personified in my measly little mind. I'm not
usually this articulate, really, it's just a lot easier to
be articulate on the internet when you don't know who's
reading your words, and you're so tired that it doesn't
even really matter to you. But anyway, I was talking about
how my life doesn't have a purpose. Sure, someday I'd like
to go into medicine, and I want to cure some disease or
something, but that doesn't do me much good in high school
when all people care about is either their grades or their
style. I guess I could become superficial like all the
other brainless idiots at my school, but then I wouldn't be
me. So, the options are either fitting in with all the
mindless losers at my school, or being an outcast with
enough intelligence to actually make herself a sandwitch.
(But apparantley not enough intelligence to spell that
word!) Well, given that I've rambled forever, I should
probably go. This is probably going to make everyone who's
reading my diary run screaming from the computer, but I'm
warning you know, this diary isn't for people who aren't
ready to get their hair blown back, and are not prepared to
think.

Just something to ponder,
Kat


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