Ginger Gal

Welcome to my life...
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2002-03-09 04:25:48 (UTC)

Ahhhhhhh the land of stress.....

Here I am, second entry. This is weird, knowing someone
might be reading this

Things are getting bad. As I said I live at home. Mom
isn't working. Something happened to her hip/pelvis (Long
story short, when she was 19 she had a bad accident. It
almost totally smashed her hip and pelvis. It's catching
up to her ) We tried unemployment, they can't
help because she isn't able and available to work. We went
to disability, but they can't help because they only deal
with long term stuff. Next stop, welfare. Gawd I hate
that. We used to be on welfare a long time ago, I never
wanted to go back. Of course, in PA the only way you can
get any help from welfare is if you have kids. And I don't
think I'll count .....heh.

If they don't help us.. well, we're screwed. There isn't
enough money. Even if I would find a job, it would be at a
place like Walmart. I have no skills, at least no skills
that matter in the job market. I do get unemployment, but
I wouldn't get much more from a job. I know that sounds
fucked up, let me explain. I have a student loan in
default. So, with the jobs I can get, I'd be making like
$7 a hour ( yeah I know, lovely life eh? ). take away 10%
of that, gross, then taxes, I'll be left with maybe $40
more than unemployment. So, instead of needing like...
$400 to meet bills, I'll only need $360. So, we''re still

I don't want to be homeless. We could probably find
somewhere to go, I just don't know where.

Not to mention I'm in a long distance relationship, as I
mentioned last night. Long distance relationships are hard
enough. If I'm homeless, that means no computer and now
phone. I know that sounds bad, me worrying about internet
when I might not have a roof over my head. But without
internet and phone, I don't have DB. God I love him. And
I know he loves me, but in reality.. if we don't talk, it's
not going to last. Right now all we have is the sound of
our voices to hold on too. Without having that.. I know
first hand that love isn't like everyone says. When I was
a kid I believed that love will conquer all and fix
everything. I'm not that stupid anymore. I don't know
what I'll do if I lose him. I can't even imagine.

Well, I guess that's all for tonight. The despressing
thoughts, problems, and stress are now swimming in my
mind. I'm going to try to clear my brain and get some

Take care out there.