CAD

Oh Captain
2002-03-09 04:20:05 (UTC)

Chapter 6

Do not remove the speck in your neighbor’s eye when
you have a log in your own.
-Jesus Christ
Before you move the world, you must first move
yourself.
-Socrates
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Well, he’s done it again. I just looked at what I wrote
yesterday, and by the Muses does Cameron have the
power to inspire some people to movement! After I
picked him up we just drove back to my place and
crashed. We were both pretty exhausted after what had
gone down. We talked for a little bit about what needs
to happen in the next couple of days, but I’ll get into that
later...if I feel like it. I’m still kinda tired. Anyhoo,
Cameron just started going on about his version of my
herd mentality theory, which is almost but not entirely
similar, and it always strikes this resonant chord within
me that seems to inspire me to action. It seemed like
he was trying to inspire himself to action, though.

That’s the fundamental difference between us. I am
perfectly content to let the world go to hell in a
handbasket as long as all these fuckers just leave me
alone. Cameron...Cameron can’t deal with that. He
feels this drive to change them. He wants to make
everyone see the light, to enlighten them, show them
how to make themselves into better people. I say just
live by example and if they don’t catch on it’s their own
damn fault for being too damn ignorant not to see their
own faults because it’s so easy to say that the world is
full of stupid people and weak people and selfish
hateful blind foolish people but we never turn the knife
on ourselves. Name one of those people, and then go
tell it to her face. I challenge you to do that tomorrow.
Go tell someone that they’re stupid, or weak, or selfish,
hateful, blind, or foolish. Narcissistic. Evil. Numb.
Manipulative. Hypocritical. Just tell that vapid ugly bitch
that the boy bands will never really like her and she has
no merit as a person, I dare you. We’re so preoccupied
with making broad generalizations that look
philosophically sound on paper and trying to build up
everyone’s self-esteem that, when questioned as to
who exactly are the human trash on the face of this
planet, we automatically reply that, “Oh, it’s someone
else,” without stopping to consider just how many
people we are “someone else” to.

Maybe we need to tear down some of this self-esteem
a little bit. Self is steam. Hot air. Filling us up like
pride, and I think we should just--every once in a
while--stop looking through the rose-tinted lenses of
universal acceptance and say, “Hey, we fucking SUCK!”
Not only as a race, but as individuals. Why? Because
a race is made up of individuals. Individuals who,
collectively, have the power to change, but if they never
put their own interests aside long enough to act in
concert, they can never break the cycle. Why does
history always repeat itself? Because people have not,
since the dawn of time, changed one single iota. I was
in a bar once after having a particularly bad day, and
some guy in a fucking business suit had the audacity to
give the ring on my collar a good solid yank before I’d
even ordered my first drink. Now, don’t get me wrong, I
like this--usually. But not when the wrong people do it,
and this asshole was definitely one of the wrong
people. So Mr. Corporate here says to me something
along the lines of, “Hey babe, you into this kind of
thing?” Which is not only totally stupid and lame, but
his articulation told me that he wasn’t even drunk. So I
let him have it. I grabbed him by the balls, yanked him
to the floor and squeezed until his idiot buddies nearly
fell out of their chairs laughing and he was on his
knees crying in front of this girl who was less than half
his weight. I left a black kiss on his forehead and
before I walked away, I said, “Sorry, I thought you were
into that kind of thing.” I got free drinks for the rest of the
night, from whom I won’t say...but it took a while before
the alcohol stopped me from trying to decide whether I
should feel triumphant at claiming my prize or bitter at
accepting their condolences. But I digress. The
human condition always has been, and always will be,
the same until we break this herd mentality and change
it by our collective will.

Let’s face it: some people have to be at the bottom of
the barrell. We can’t all be in the 99th percentile, right?
We need dumbshits. People to flip our burgers,
maintain our public facilities, plow our streets, and
move our garbage. Why? Because the neurosurgeons
can’t be bothered to do it themselves. It’s beneath
them. Fine by me, but then at least embrace the
concept you engender: we need them. They are not
trash, each of them is just as vital a gear as any other in
this clockwork society. As long as they do their part,
they are earning their place, and with that place comes
whatever dignity there is in being a human being,
regardless of rank, color, creed, sex, or age. Maybe we
should pause a minute more, and think that maybe a
job’s pay shouldn’t be necessarily in accordance to the
prestige carried with it. Maybe there should be no
prestige with any station at all. Maybe we should only
pay people as much as we don’t want to do something.
How much is it worth to you not to have to take your
trash to the dump? How much is it worth to you to have
someone make your food? How much is it worth to you
to have someone clean the shit from your septic tank
just so you don’t have to deal with your own waste?
Now, how much is it worth to you to watch sweaty guys
move balls around some field in a stadium miles and
miles away? Just a few questions that I think warrant
the asking. Maybe next time you won’t be so haughty
when they put too much mayo on your sub. Maybe you
shouldn’t be irate that there isn’t enough cheese on
your fries, because it might not be cheese at all. And
maybe you’ll be a little more patient with customer
service representatives, receptionists, and stock clerks
when you go to them not knowing what the hell you’re
doing, because you may only need to deal with them
once, but they’ve gotta deal with dumbfucks like you all
day.

Where was I going with this? I don’t remember, it
doesn’t matter. I have to lay down for a nap now. I’ve
got the day off, so I need to make a run out later to get
the last couple supplies on that list Cameron gave me.




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